Relationships and the “Drama” that comes up within them

OMG! I am in LOVE with life today, and I am so thankful for Chris who is a “Taurus” YEAH…YOU ROCK! for creating this site. I LOVE YOU Chris!!! LOL

I just gave a friend of mine some relationship advice and realized this would be the topic of my blog today. She was having some relationship difficulties with her girlfriend. They are on the brink of breaking up and my friend has had issues now for a few months. Being that I’ve had to kiss a few toads to get to my “Prince” LOL I’ve gained some insight into this whole relationship thing and decided to share my advice I gave her with you all here today.

So many people always ask when am I going to find Love, who is my soulmate, why isn’t he or she acting right in the relationship I have now? We have all been so conditioned to believe we are going to meet someone who is going to make everything all better and make us feel good. This is the biggest set up if I ever saw one. ( I LOVE ROMANTIC MOVIES i.e The Notebook) LOL

Now being a Taurus through and through I am the biggest hopeless romantic out there and I want Love, Romance, Passion everything that comes along with it. Im ruled by Venus so what can I say…..right? LOL I learned through my own relationships that at the time I thought were unsuccessful were actually very successful. I began to look within myself to see what was going on with me and inside of me that I had to let go of. Ok, now Im going somewhere with this so just hold on….

I learned on this “Spiritual Path” that whenever I get into any relationship or friendship the other person and I click because we are perfect matches for reflecting back to each other things that are within us. The good, and the not so good (things to be healed). I learned that when I had issues in my relationships and kept trying to fix things or them I was wasting energy because in the end it was really about me. I had to ask myself what is it that this relationship or person is showing me that I do not want to see within myself?

If they are not faithful and committed, how am I not faithful and committed to myself?
If they are not fully present in the relationship or on the fence how am I not fully present on on the fence with myself? I could go on and on and make comparisons…but the thing is this person has come into your life to bless you with the gift of being a mirror for you. This is a hard thing to swallow and accept responsibility for the so called “drama” in your relationship but its true. You attracted them to you, you were the one who drew it in through your own thoughts and feelings about yourself. When two people come together in a romantic relationship at a higher spiritual level it is always to heal, balance karma, clear away things that no longer serve you anymore. So in the beginning things are always good but when the issues come up this is usually when one person is doing something or saying something you don’t like or you feel doesn’t make you feel good and you want them to change who they are in order for you to fee safe, protected and feel good in the inside.

This thinking automatically sets up the other person to fail because they can’t always know what you are thinking, feeling and want them to do in each second. Also, the love and relationship is now conditional and not unconditional and what you are saying to them is that you LOVE them and will be faithful as long as they do what you say and do things to make you feel good and keep you interested.

The Love and Romance and all the overwhelming Love and Passion we seek in another person is really our desire and thirst to be connected to the Divine. No one person can ever fulfill our needs 24/7 in a perfect and unconditional way but the Divine. When we all decided to come to earth and living as Spirits having a human experience we instantly became “homesick” in a way and then began to search out and seek things that gave us that feeling of being at home or one with source. We are missing the mark just a bit and if we just try to look at the issues or circumstance in our relationship as a teacher to help us get rid of stuff we don’t need then it takes the sting out of it and instead of fighting it you can work with it as a partner in a way.

We also have to think about what “We” are bringing into the relationship in terms of our unconscious beliefs about ourselves and Love in general. I am going out on a limb and putting my business all up and through Soulgarden but I know this will help someone. LOL So here goes, as a child my Mother wasn’t around and was incarcerated (did I spell that right?) I never felt like I got the Love or attention from her that I wanted or from the Grandmother that raised me. As a young boy how was I supposed to deal with this kind of energy or not getting attention or Love I wanted? I began to internalize the underlying message which was ( I don’t deserve unconditional Love, I don’t deserve someone’s full time and attention, I wasn’t worthy of Love) and unconscious program was created in my mind because if the one woman who birthed me into this world whose womb I lived inside of for 9 months didn’t value me, Love me, give me attention, make me feel good then I didn’t deserve it. So it stuck and has played out for years in my relationships. I realized I was pushing people away because I didn’t think I deserve (Unconditional Love- The Good Guys) I would only let them in ( attract the Bad Boys) if there was drama attached because this is what I was carrying within me(unconscious belief) so I had to attract it. I also realized if the Love was easy and pure I did not want it because there was no drama attached to it and I needed the person to love me the way I was loved as a kid..(with drama attached)…because I was playing out this scenario over and over to heal it……

So as you see relationships are a blessing, and when issues come up instead of blaming the other person take a step back and see what is there for you to learn, and what are you holding onto that you have not let go of in your heart. Do you really believe you deserve Love, if so prove it? How do you treat yourself? How do you show Love to your Spirit? We teach people how to treat us by the way we treat ourselves…you can take that to the bank! LOL

Now, if your Man or Woman goes crazy Ike Turner on you than that is a different story, get out of there and make sure your personal safety is priority. Then after you are safe and sound and away from Mr or Mrs. Krazy ask yourself how are you abusing yourself and why did you attract this man into your life?

If you are reading this and are in a relationship I want you to go to your Partner and just tell them you Love them and why without expecting anything in return, just tell them how much you appreciate them. If you are single, look in the mirror and tell yourself how much you love yourself and then go out and do something nice to celebrate your singledom…..LOL

I love you, God Bless and may the Angels be with and guide you daily.

All My Love
Savonn

Tagged as: Healing, heart, Love, Relationships, romance